Here are some other ideas:
Corporations could become priests and nuns; however they would not be allowed to marry.
Corporations could be small family farmers, so we can at last do away with that blasted "locavore" concept. Who wants pure food delivered fresh with a minimum of pollution-causing shipping anyway? People must be crazy.
Let's encourage corporations to become telegenic media personalities. Give the red carpet at events some unusual pizzazz. (Bulky, but with the convenience of having personality and sponsorship in one grand package.)
Ditto for, say, footballs players. Google and Microsoft playing on rival teams as quarterbacks. Chrysler at wide receiver going out for a long pass and never coming back? Haliburton at middle guard doing a little eye-gouging in the pile-ups!